What's your leadership shadow?
The impact you might not realise you're having
Have you ever floated an idea in a meeting, just thinking out loud, and then watched it come back to you a fortnight later as a finished piece of work that you didn’t think you’d asked for?
A manager I was coaching recently described just that situation. She'd mentioned an idea in a team meeting, it was half-formed and she was just turning it over in her mind and looking for the thoughts of her team. It was nothing more than that. Then two weeks later, someone arrived with a full strategy built around the idea which clearly had hours of effort behind it. She was taken aback. She'd been musing out loud but the team member had heard it as an instruction and ran with it.
That was her leadership shadow at work.
Every leader casts one. Your leadership shadow is the effect you have on the people around you, simply because of your role and the weight your words and actions carry, whether you mean them to carry that weight or not. Most of us can describe the shadow cast by leaders we've worked for. I could tell a fair few stories and I imagine you could too. However, far fewer of us stop to ask what our own shadow looks like to others.
What is a leadership shadow, and why does it matter?
A leadership shadow is the mark you leave through the tone you set and the mood you bring. It’s the way your presence shapes how your team behaves, often without a word being said about it. Much of it is cast without you realising it, and that's what makes it worth a good, curious look.
Let’s start by thinking about a fast-paced, directional leader. They move quickly and they like a bit of momentum. For people who work the same way, that energy is a gift but for the person who needs a little time to think before they commit, the same style can feel like intense pressure. They may stop offering half-formed ideas, because in this leader's world half-formed ideas seem to get actioned, and at pace. Their shadow adds to the pressure and the workload. So over time the room goes quieter, the thinking gets less honest, and the leader has no idea why.
Of course none of that was the intention of the leader I mentioned earlier, but the shadow falls whether you're watching it or not. The people standing in that leadership shadow rarely tell you it's there or why things have changed.
When your team frustrates you, look at your leadership shadow first
This is where it can be useful to get curious and really consider your shadow rather than getting cross. It’s not always easy to do but stay with me, because it really is interesting.
“Why won't they just get on with the job?”
“Why does every issue land back on my desk?”
These are both fair questions from leaders and there can be plenty of reasons behind them. Yes, you’ve guessed it, one reason worth considering is your shadow. It might be that the team won't decide anything without you because they’ve learned that decisions get overturned. It’s just easier to cut out the bit in between. If you have people who bring you every problem, maybe they’ve worked out that handing the problem over is safer than solving it themselves because you don’t tend to like their ideas. It might not be all the time, but perhaps often enough to check before you reach for another explanation.
Back to the manager whose half-formed idea came back as a fully finished strategy. That wasn’t someone being frustrating, the team member was working hard and doing far more than was asked of them. It might be over-delivery, or going quiet, or checking every small decision with you. It won’t be obvious the behaviour is a result of your shadow but there will be clues. How do your messages land and what’s the impact on your team? Why are they doing the things that they do?
We all know that different people feel communication styles differently. The same brisk, decisive style that one person finds freeing, another struggles to keep pace with. Someone who likes to think before they speak will read your speed as a signal to stay quiet, whilst a fast mover may barely notice. Your shadow isn't one fixed thing and it can be shaped as much by who is standing in it as by you.
It shows up higher in the organisation too. When a senior leader asks for change while carrying on much as before, people notice that gap and either consciously or unconsciously decide they don’t need to change either. A leadership team that asks for openness whilst modelling caution or lack of communication teaches everyone to keep their heads down, whatever the stated values may be. It’s the behaviours you experience that can tell you what shadow you’re casting, consciously or not.
A leadership shadow isn’t all bad
We hear the word “shadow” and picture something gloomy, dark and often sinister. It doesn't have to be like that but I'm not sure what you'd call the opposite. Your “leadership glow” or light perhaps?
A leader who follows through on what they say casts a shadow (or glow) of reliability. One who stays steady when things wobble gives everyone else permission to steady themselves too. The leader who asks a quiet team member what they think, and then listens, leaves the room feeling safe to speak up. Those shadows shape a team every bit as powerfully as the more negative ones, and you can choose to cast them on purpose.
The question is, what shadow do you choose?
Casting your leadership shadow intentionally
You can't lose your shadow but you can get to know it and start to reshape it.
A few honest reflections are a good place to start.
- What might it feel like to be managed by me on a busy day?
- Where might my style be landing differently from how I mean it?
- Am I casting the shadow I want to cast, or one I've never stopped to examine?
FREE DOWNLOAD | Building Trust White Paper
If you'd like a structured way in, the reflective questions at the end of my Building Trust White Paper take this a little further. It's a good companion to this blog if the idea of your shadow has made you curious.
Download it free here.
Awareness, as is often the case, is where it begins. The right conversations, in the right way, at the right time, are how you turn that awareness into the shadow you'd like to choose.
To explore your own leadership shadow, or even talk it through with your team, do get in touch.
Hi, I’m Sarah Harvey, Leadership, Teams and Conversations Specialist, who helps leaders and teams have the right conversations, in the right way, at the right time, so they get better results and build stronger relationships. Drawing on 35 years in workplace communication, culture and conflict, and my MSc in Organisational Psychology including research into how leaders build trust through everyday conversations, I work with senior leaders and people teams across the private, public and third sectors.
FAQs
What's the difference between a leadership shadow and leadership style?
Your leadership style is how you choose to lead for example direct, collaborative, hands-off, and so on. Your leadership shadow is the effect that style has on the people around you, which isn't always the effect you intended. Two leaders can share the same style and cast very different shadows, because a shadow is shaped as much by how people experience you as by what you set out to do.
Why does my team behave differently with me than with other managers?
Often because your shadow and another manager's are different, and people adjust to each without realising. If your team goes quiet with you but speaks freely with a colleague, it's worth asking what the two of you do differently. It usually isn't about who's the better manager. It's about what each of you makes safe, or risky, to say or do.
Should I ask my team for feedback on my leadership shadow?
It can help, though how you ask matters. People rarely tell a leader the unvarnished truth to their face, so a direct "what's my shadow?" will often be met with silence. You'll learn more from specific, lower-stakes questions which may include what's it like when I'm under pressure, or when did you last hold something back from me? Pay attention to how people respond over time, not just what they say in the moment.