When you know something is wrong, but can't quite name it
"We've got a situation. I'm not entirely sure what we need, but something isn't working."
That's where most of my work starts.
It's rare that someone contacts me and says, "I'd like to book a coaching programme, please" or "We need mediation" or "Can you run a workshop on psychological safety?" It almost never starts that cleanly.
Someone will get in touch, usually an HR Director or a senior leader, and what they bring isn’t a brief. It’s a feeling.
Something isn’t quite right, or there’s an opportunity to make things better. It might be a team that used to work well together that has gone quiet, or a senior leader who is technically excellent but keeps losing good people. Perhaps there is a conflict that everyone knows about, and nobody is addressing, or a culture that looks fine on paper but feels completely different in reality.
The person getting in touch knows something needs to change and I may be able to help. They have an idea that mediation or some team work could be useful, but they can’t put their finger on exactly what’s needed.
Don’t just jump to solutions
I’ve come to learn that the workplace solution someone thinks they need is not always the one that will make the real difference. Take a recent example.
I had a client who asked for a team away day. When we talked through their concerns and challenges we found that what they really needed was six months of leadership coaching for their team leader. The way that the leader communicated, or more honestly, avoided communicating, was shaping everything else that was happening in the workplace. The away day would have been OK, but it was unlikely to have achieved lasting change without a different approach from the team leader.
Here’s another example.
An HR Director wanted to commission some leadership and communication training, and during our initial discussions it became clear the issue was a lack of psychological safety. The managers were not avoiding difficult conversations because they lacked the skills; they were avoiding them because the culture made honesty feel risky.
Such distinctions are important to me. If the suggested intervention doesn’t match the issue you’re looking to solve, we’ll spend some interesting time together but you’ll end up treating surface symptoms and wonder why nothing really changes.
So, what does the process look like?
When someone contacts me and says, "I'm not sure what I need," or words to that effect, the first thing I do is listen. I listen deeply and carefully. I am not trying to work out which service to recommend; instead, I try to understand what is going on beneath the surface.
Sometimes that’s a short phone call, but sometimes it takes a little longer before we both get to the heart of it. I ask questions. I notice what's said and what's left out, and I pay attention to the language people use. "It's not that bad" and "we just need a bit of a refresh" can mean things are worse than anyone wants to admit out loud.
From here, we’ll work it out together. It might be executive coaching, workshops, mediation, facilitation, or a combination of these over several months. Occasionally, it’s something I don’t think I’m right for, and if so, I’ll be honest about that.
Impactful solutions come from understanding real problems. Not from choosing from a menu of services.
Why am I telling you all this?
If you’re reading this and recognise those feelings that something’s wrong but you can’t quite put your finger on what it is or how to fix it, I want you to know that’s completely normal. Most leaders and HR professionals I work with start from exactly that place.
You don’t always need to arrive with a clear brief. You don’t need to know whether it’s team coaching or leadership training or workplace mediation or something else entirely. You don’t even need the right words to explain the problem.
You just need to be willing to have an exploratory conversation about it.
That’s all it takes to start; a conversation. No commitment, no agenda, no sales pitch. Just an open and honest discussion about what’s going on and what might help.
If that sounds like something that might help, do get in touch. I'm always happy to have that first conversation (even if it doesn’t lead to us working together).