The Emotional Bank Account and Workplace Trust
Trust is essential for a successful relationship, especially in the workplace. But it can be hard to get a real handle on; hard to measure, hard to explain, and easy to underestimate until it's gone. One way I like to visualise trust is using Stephen Covey’s metaphor of the Emotional Bank Account—a repository where trust is either deposited or withdrawn based on our interactions with others. Just like a financial bank account, maintaining a positive balance of trust is important for creating healthy and productive workplace relationships.
Deposits and Withdrawals
In the context of the Emotional Bank Account, deposits and withdrawals represent actions and behaviours that either strengthen or weaken trust. Deposits or credits happen when we demonstrate integrity, show empathy, communicate effectively, and fulfil promises.
These positive interactions build a reserve of trust and enhance the quality of our relationships. However, withdrawals from the bank account occur when we act unethically, betray confidence, fail to deliver on commitments, or engage in disrespectful behaviour. Each withdrawal chips away at trust, making it more difficult to maintain strong and effective relationships.
The Consequences of Broken Trust
The thing is, once trust is broken, it’s challenging to rebuild. Like an overdrawn bank account, an Emotional Bank Account in deficit can lead to strained interactions, heightened tensions, and even full-blown conflict. When trust is compromised, people may feel hesitant to express themselves openly, fearing misinterpretation or judgment. Communication becomes guarded, and collaboration becomes difficult.
This is something I see regularly in my work, whether that's coaching senior leaders through a relationship that's become strained, or supporting teams where the trust has quietly eroded over time. The signs are often subtle at first: slightly shorter replies, fewer questions in meetings, people who used to speak up going quiet.
Applying the Emotional Bank Account in Workplace Conversations
In workplace conversations, understanding the dynamics of the Emotional Bank Account can be incredibly helpful. There are three categories of people you will often need to have conversations with (there’s more about this in my book on page 76):
1. Those you have a positive history with:
These are individuals who you have built a foundation of trust with over time. Mutual respect, shared experiences, and effective communication contribute to an Emotional Bank Account that is in credit. Conversations with these people are characterised by honesty, transparency, and mutual understanding.
2. Those you need to build a story with:
This includes people we don’t know very well or even at all. There is little or no pre-existing rapport. In these cases, every conversation becomes an opportunity to earn trust by demonstrating authenticity, empathy, and reliability. Each interaction serves as a chance to make deposits into the Emotional Bank Account, gradually building a balance and trust.
3. Those you have an ‘uneasy’ history with:
We may have history with people but it’s not positive. Trust is strained or damaged. Rebuilding trust in these relationships requires deliberate effort, patience, and empathy. Savvy Conversations in these circumstances will take more care and more time to get past grievances and underlying issues. In more serious cases, where the relationship has broken down significantly, workplace mediation can provide a structured, neutral space to start that process.
FREE DOWNLOAD | Dealing with Difficult Conversations
If navigating these three types of relationship sounds familiar, my free guide gives you eight practical steps for handling challenging conversations, from preparation through to follow-up. Download it free here.
Turning Withdrawals into Investments
In workplace conversations, we need to consider the state of our Emotional Bank Account. Certain conversations may result in withdrawals due to the necessity of delivering difficult messages, but savvy conversations can transform these withdrawals into investments. Having open dialogue, acknowledging emotions, and seeking understanding allows us to strengthen relationships and rebuild trust.
The Foundation of High-Performing Teams
Ultimately, trust is the foundation of high-performing leadership and teams. By prioritising trust-building behaviours and engaging in savvy conversations, individuals and organisations can create workplace cultures that are collaborative, innovative and successful. Trusting each other is the key to unlocking the full potential of individuals and teams.
The Emotional Bank Account metaphor offers a powerful way to understand and build trust in various relationships. By prioritising positive interactions and minimising negative ones, you can maintain a healthy balance of trust, creating open communication and collaboration. This metaphor becomes particularly relevant in workplace conversations where considering the Emotional Bank Account dynamics can guide us towards stronger relationships and increased success.
If you're thinking about trust in your team or organisation and want to explore what's getting in the way, I'm always happy to have an initial conversation. No agenda, no commitment, just a conversation. Book a call here, or take a look at the free resources on the Savvy Downloads page for practical tools you can use straight away.
Hi, I'm Sarah Harvey, the founder of Savvy Conversations. I work with leaders, teams, and organisations to build trust, resolve conflict, and develop leaders. With over 35 years’ experience across leadership, executive coaching, training, facilitation, and mediation, I help people have the right conversations, in the right way, at the right time.