Results vs Relationships - Finding the Balance with the Savvy Seesaw

The Savvy Seesaw reminds us that in all our interactions, we're invariably attempting to do two things simultaneously:

1. Get Results - Achieve the outcomes we need

2. Maintain Relationships – Keep relationships positive

I remember coaching a senior leader who was frustrated because their team wasn't taking initiative. When we explored this further, it became clear that the leader was so firmly positioned on the "Get Results" side of the seesaw team members felt uncomfortable discussing new ideas. They worried about being shot down or criticised. Whilst the relationship between the leader and team members was OK on the surface, in reality it was somewhat tense with relationships a little inauthentic.

By consciously shifting their approach to give more attention to the "Maintain Relationships" side of the seesaw, the leader saw noticeable changes in levels of team engagement and, ultimately, better results. They didn't abandon their focus on results, but they balanced conversations better to work more effectively for everyone.

Factors that could, or maybe should, influence your seat on the seesaw will include:

Who you're talking to: 

You might naturally shift your approach when speaking to your boss versus a direct report.

Specific topics might lend themselves to more of a results or relationship focus.

When stressed or tired, most people revert to their default position more strongly.

Cultural context: 

Different organisational and national cultures value different communication styles over others.

So, you're not fixed on one side of the seesaw. The thing to remember is that you can consciously choose to move across the seesaw when needed. Some of us believe we’re focussed on relationships. We worry that this makes us ineffective in certain situations that demand directness and often can’t see how we can change because we’re worried about upsetting other people. Yet through training or coaching, we learn we can and do temporarily shift position to be more direct about results when needed, without abandoning our natural relationship-focussed approach. It's like learning to use your non-dominant hand. It's never going to feel completely natural, but with practice, you can do it when the situation calls for it.

Think of developing your communication style like building muscle. If you naturally favour one side of the seesaw, the opposite "muscle" might be underdeveloped but that doesn't mean you can't strengthen it.

The aim isn't to completely change your natural style but to expand your range so you can move more freely across the seesaw when needed. Just because we have a comfortable default position on one side of the seesaw, doesn't mean we can't sit the other side: it's simply where we feel more comfortable. The seesaw reminds us that sometimes we need to stop and approach things from the other side.

Over the years, I've seen countless examples of people developing this flexibility. The naturally blunt, results-oriented manager who learned to pause and consider feelings before giving feedback. The relationship-focussed team leader who found the courage to address performance issues directly. The direct communicator who learned to soften their approach so it was better received. The supportive manager who learned to set clearer boundaries.

Sometimes the seesaw gets unbalanced. I've mediated many workplace conflicts that arose from unbalanced communication.

When the seesaw tips too far toward results, I see:

With self-awareness and practice, we can learn to continually adjust our position on the Savvy Seesaw. Where can you start?

First, resolve become more self-aware. Honestly assess which side of the seesaw you naturally prefer (remember there’s no right or wrong here). Most of us know instinctively where we're most comfortable.

Respect both sides. Acknowledge that getting results and maintaining relationships are both important for long-term success and that you are in control of getting that balance just right.

Consider each situation carefully. Some conversations require more emphasis on results, others more on relationships. Be flexible in your approach whilst aiming for a healthy balance.

Prepare thoughtfully before important conversations. Consider how to balance your approach. What do you need to achieve? How can you maintain or strengthen the relationship while doing so?

Seek feedback by asking trusted colleagues how they perceive your communication style. Do they see you as balanced or leaning too far to one side?

The most effective communicators are those who adapt their style and move skillfully between both sides of the Savvy Seesaw when needed.

By recognising your natural preferences as starting points rather than fixed positions, and consciously working to develop your range and adaptability, you can have more effective conversations that achieve results AND maintain positive relationships. It's not a question of choosing between results or relationships, it’s finding ways to achieve results and maintain relationships in every conversation you have.

That's what makes a conversation truly savvy.

I'd love to hear from you if you'd like to explore how you and your team can develop more balanced workplace conversations. Whether you're interested in workshops, coaching, or bringing Savvy Conversations to your organisation, get in touch.

My book "Savvy Conversations: A practical framework for effective workplace relationships" provides a comprehensive guide to transforming workplace communication, with the Savvy Seesaw at its heart.