Honesty is the Best Policy
...but only if you get it right
We’ve all heard it. And yes, it's a cliché but that's usually because it's true.
Failing to tell the whole truth or concealing part of the truth can have a massive impact on your relationships. Often that impact is not in a good way.
Here are three scenarios that will probably feel familiar, and not just at dinner parties.
Scenario 1:
You’re at a dinner party with some friends and you’ve all agreed to bring a dish. One friend has brought something that looks… questionable. You ask what’s in it, and they say, “Oh, just some spices and things, it’s an old family recipe.” You take a bite and immediately regret it. It’s spicy, sour, and just not nice. Later, you find out that they actually forgot about the party. When they remembered they panicked and used everything and anything that they found in the cupboard. They hoped no one would notice. Now you feel like you can’t trust them to bring food to any future events!
Scenario 2:
Your boss asks you to work on a project with a colleague. They don’t tell you that the colleague has a history of not pulling their weight. You assume that everything will be fine, but they do nothing. The project is hard work, you feel like you are doing the work of two people. Then when it comes to the final delivery, you’re left scrambling to fix everything at the last minute. Your boss is wondering why you didn’t raise any red flags earlier.
Scenario 3:
You’re at a party and someone asks you what you do for a living. You don’t love your job or the company you work for, so you say something vague like, “Oh, I work in an office.” They ask for more details, but you are sparing with the information you share. Later, you find out that they work for an amazing company that’s hiring in your field. They never mentioned it because they assumed you weren’t interested. Now you’ve missed out on a great job opportunity!
These scenarios may seem light-hearted, but they all stem from a lack of honesty and transparency. When we don’t tell the whole truth or purposefully conceal part of the truth, we’re not only hurting ourselves, but also the people around us. When someone is not truthful, it can create a ripple effect. Other people may start to question their credibility and motives, which can lead to decreased morale and a breakdown in trust.
This is why it’s important to establish a culture of honesty and trust from the very beginning. When people are honest with each other, they are able to build trust and establish strong relationships. In a workplace setting, this trust is essential to creating a high performing team. Teams that are able to communicate honestly and openly with each other are more likely to achieve their goals, make better decisions, and build a sense of collaboration and cooperation.
For leaders and HR professionals, this is where it gets interesting. Creating a culture where people feel safe to be honest isn’t just about encouraging good behaviour, it’s about removing the conditions that make dishonesty feel necessary. When people avoid difficult conversations, withhold bad news, or tell managers what they want to hear, it’s rarely because they’re dishonest by nature. It’s usually because the culture, or the leader, has made honesty feel risky.
This is something I work on regularly with leadership teams and teams across sectors, not by teaching people to be more honest, but by helping create the conditions where honest conversations can actually happen.
Think twice
While it may be tempting to avoid difficult conversations or hide the truth to spare someone’s feelings, it’s important to remember that honesty is always the best policy. Omitting the truth or failing to be honest may seem harmless in the moment but it can lead to miscommunication, misunderstanding and a breakdown in trust.
So, next time you’re tempted to withhold the truth, think twice and consider the impact it may have on those around you. And if you’re a leader or manager, consider what your response to honesty says to your team. Do you reward people for telling you what you need to hear, or what you want to hear?
One important caveat is that honesty isn’t just about saying the truth. It’s about saying it in the right way, at the right time, and in a way the other person can actually hear. That’s a skill, and it’s one worth developing. Part II of this blog explores what that looks like in practice.
FREE DOWNLOAD | Dealing with Difficult Conversations
If honest conversations feel difficult in your workplace, this free guide gives you eight practical steps for approaching them with confidence. Download it free here.
If you’re working in an organisation where honest conversations are rare, avoided, or consistently handled badly, that’s worth paying attention to. It’s usually a symptom of something deeper. I’m always happy to have an initial conversation about what might be getting in the way. Book a call here, or explore the free resources on the Savvy Downloads page for practical tools you can use straight away.
Hi, I'm Sarah Harvey, the founder of Savvy Conversations. I work with with leaders, teams, and organisations to build trust, resolve conflict, and develop leaders. With over 35 years’ experience across leadership, executive coaching, training, facilitation, and mediation, I help people have the right conversations, in the right way, at the right time.